I was having an unusually hard time yesterday and I didn’t understand why until now – yesterday was the 12th. It marked one more month since Omie’s birth, and today marks another month since his death. Six months. Half a year without him already. I feel like the worst mother for not noticing it consciously, for not taking time to celebrate or mourn or do something.
Some days things feel like “normal,” but yesterday, Omie’s loss really hit me. I think that sometimes my heart doesn’t really register that he’s gone. And then my heart remembers, Omie lived and died. My son lived and died, and I am still here, and that sucks.
I don’t have much else to say or give today. But I saw a post on Instagram that summed it all up:
“I miss you. There are days that’s all I want to write.”