I had my phone consult this morning with renowned TAC surgeon Dr. Haney out of Chicago. After 2 hours of amazing conversation and questions, I hung up the phone and felt – dare I say it? – confident. Confident that we had made the best decisions we could when faced with my IC diagnosis, my hospital stay, and ultimately, Omie’s too-early arrival. Confident that I couldn’t have done anything differently to save Omie. Confident that, even though my uterus is misshaped, I’m not doomed to a life of 2nd trimester losses and pre-mature birth and uterine rupture. Confident that I have a doctor that CARES about Omie and that knows that one loss is one loss too many. Confident that I can have biological children, as God wills it.
And let me say, it feels amazing! I feel hope and peace and comfort and happiness and joy. I feel God working in this moment, in this season of my life. We aren’t promised a life free of troubles but we are promised that He will walk through it all with us, that we will never have to do this alone. I have an incompetent cervix, a condition that makes it impossible for me to carry babies to term without help, but after finding out about it and losing Omie because of it, I discovered the cure (a transabdominal cerclage/TAC) through a beautiful, gospel-focused blog on baby loss, IC, and TAC. I read and researched and talked to everybody, and I prayed.
I prayed that God help me make the best decision I could, the decision that was most in line with His plans and hopes for my life and my family. I prayed on the options available, on the potential insurance issues, on the risks and benefits and all of it. And after prayer and conversation and counsel, I consulted with two amazing TAC surgeons, Dr. Atlas and Dr. Haney. The first consult went well but this second consult with Dr. Haney went better than I could have ever imagined, as he explained to me exactly how a TAC works, why the success rates are so high (his personal success rate for live, term birth is something like 99.6%), why my bicornuate uterus and incompetent cervix are related, and how a TAC will cure my IC and allow us to have living children.
And after this entire conversation, Dr. Haney went on to explain that, should my insurance not cover this procedure (which they very well may not), he offers an out-of-pocket price that is ridiculously reasonable. So there is nothing standing in the way of me & the surgery I need to protect my children. I shared this with Jason and we agreed to do whatever we needed to do (within legal means) to save up the money for the procedure. And then my mom, Omie & Noah’s sweet grandma, told us to stop stressing, that she’d cover the procedure cost and do whatever she needed to do to protect our babies, too. We are so incredibly blessed to have loved ones that care so much, that give & sacrifice so much, and that are in a financial position to do these things.
God is good, always, in the hard and the heartache, in the trials and losses, just as He is good in the blessings. Today has been such a blessing, a blessing of peace and healing and comfort, that my momma heart so needed. I know there are tons of trials & obstacles to face in the future, but I am so, so grateful, for everything we’ve gone through, for Dr. Haney, for everything we have to look forward to. Today is a good day.